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Police Blotter: The Dark Lord is a Drunk Snowbird

Written by Shaun Daniels and Edited by Sharon Wong

On Thursday, January 6th, 2012 at approximately 2:45am, Florida Highway Patrol were tipped off by a construction worker that a certain Sith Lord of infamous proportions was standing in the middle of an Orlando road.  Apparently, 28-year-old Michael Cole, who was wearing a Darth Vader mask, stumbled out onto the road, allegedly under the influence of something other than the force.

FHP arrived at the scene and asked Cole to move to the side of the road but were met with profanities hurled by the allegedly inebriated Sith Lord.  Instead of the usual force choke, Cole, still donning the Darth Vader mask, felt it was time to take a nap.  Patrolmen then attempted to apprehend the suspect but he quickly dispatched them with a barrage of punches.  The police report indicated that they warned the suspect to not resist arrest or he would be tasered.  Cole continued to resist and was tasered but due the large winter cape or coat he was wearing, the taser had no effect so the patrolmen were forced to bring out the anti-midi-chlorians spray, better known as pepper spray.  The patrolmen were able to apprehend Cole, who was then transported to a local hospital after complaining of shortness of breath possibly from the spray and/or removing the mask.  Michael Cole stands to be charged with felony resisting arrest and felony battery of a police officer.  Cole nor the Emperor could be reached for comment.

Feedback is always welcomed at shaun@horrorhaven.com and sharon@horrorhaven.com

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